In a galaxy, far, far away
There lived two aliens whose names I can not say
One was Gare, ok I said the it, and the other was Dore
Through and through they proved themselves idiots to the core.
They were as smart as you and so among their people were ranked the lowest
To find how many cells a unicellular organism has, they were the slowest
They decided to go to an adventure, to capture our fabled Earth
Whose residents were called Humans and they cried a lot at birth
But in the middle of their flight, to the halfway,
from a quarter distance of their destination
They remembered the fuel rods were empty and so were stuck,
in weight-less floatation
To amuse themselves they decided to race to the ship's ceiling
But before anyone won they were rescued by the dreadful Meling
Meling was race that raced to live and lived to race
But were outrunned by anyone with a slow pace and instead decided to conquer space
They were amazed by Gare and Dore, searching for Earth's location
And towed their ship to the nearest Fuel Rod Station.
They showed them the pictures of their homeliquid, it was no land
And that how their fingers on one were different from those, on the other hand.
They left our heroes...ahem,well... at the station safe
It was run a good ol' man who actually was a waif
After that the Melings started asking a price for the tow
So Dare and Gore wiped the Meling off the universe by an Atomic blow
Gare stole a map of Earth's location from the station
The lines on the map were too many, he got tired from exasperation.
To decipher it, he handled Dore the map and said" What can you make of that?"
Dore said "Surely a boat, a plane or maybe a Baseball hat."
Gare gave him an angry look and snatched the map back and said
"You idiot, baseball has caps not hats and remember those are red."
So after 36 turns and two cuts of the map the cap was ready
But the ship began to jolt, stopped dead and remained steady
"Are you again playing with the hand brake, Dore?" asked Gare.
But then the ship started and speeded to a planet with a smoky layer.
The co-ordinates they had entered while playing Sudoku turned out to be right
They had reached the Earth but in the middle of the night.
Everyone was asleep and they found this rude
To not to be welcomed and not be offered any food.
So they decided to make the humans realise of their mistake
And fry the first human they would encounter to give him a fine shake
They met a teenager who was just coming from tagging his turfs
When he saw them he remembered his sad childhood watching Smurfs
"Bad Night Human, we will fry you for fun"
"Dude, is that really even, I mean, I like, a gun?"
"Yes, this is an atomic-mini-blaster-eon-neon-sub-spray"
"Oh, shucks, say what, you got ripped off by eBay"
"This Human speaks Gibbersih Dore get me the translation"
"Oh, and Dore while you are at it turn on the Hawt radio station"
"I am not your servant Human, we are here to conquer you"
"Yeah, Yeah Sure, I'll tell dad, but hey that's a nice hair-do"
Gare decided not to shoot him, impressed by his flattering
"Pitiful Human, take us to your deameaning King"
"Oh, you mean Elvis, no, no, he is dead.
You must be long gone man, where is your head?"
Saying this the boy went off and left them perplexed
A world without a King, this surely left them vexed
Then they saw three human males holding bags for three human females
And so they thought they must be human rulers and caught one for details
But they didn't know human females had natural weapons of mass destruction
She screeched, shouted, kept on speaking, and when all else failed, used her seduction
So they let her go too and instead caught up with her husband
Who had recruited his two friends to help him with her wife's shopping errand.
He was pretty much like a slave so they were disgusted
And laughed at his face for he was going to get busted
But the man asked for a competition that would decide his fate
They thought of an athletic match but he said "Let's Debate."
They denied and said instead "We would ask for questions which remain a myth
And if you answer correctly we will do as we see fit."
"We come here to find the the definition of love and meaning of life
the sense of outspoken truth and what a thing is a wife."
Love:Love is knowing that you can't swim and still, for a girl, take a dive
Who will marry your best friend if you don't get to survive
Life:Life gives 2 choices: Stay single to be called sucker, or get married and wish you were dead.
No matter what you pick in the end you will surely be beating your head
Turth:Every girl wishes their lovers would speak the truth and that too in a spurt
But when they really do, either the boy gets hurt or the boy gets hurt
Wife:Wife is a thing that you get after a series of loving days in your story
And after that everything loving is left only as a memory.
They were awestruck but the husband had finally put the stamp
But it was no surprise, before the marriage the husband was an academic champ
So they set him free from the super-duber-uber-glass cell
The two talked amongst themselves and turned the husband into jell
"We said we would do as we see fit"
And after that they just decided to quit
They had enough from the Humans and their questions were also satisfied
If they had fought they would have won, but then to themselves they would have lied
They didn't wanted to rule Humans who were slaves by their own wives
Or purdy-mouthed teenagers and pretty girls who does nothing but cries.
They returned home and were praised by their kind on completing the mission
They had brought home as a reminder, a creature, the humans called politician
No longer than a day it took for the politician to set his roots
He raised an army of alien lawyers dressed up in black suits.
Together they brought down the demise of the Gare and Dore's kind
To get rid of them was impossible as they had controlled each mind
So Gare and Dore took the responsiblity to rebel and tried to imitate the Human teens
Alas, they tried to tag their turfs with nitrous oxide and blew their planet to smithereens.
And so for ages to come,distant years will pass
Ad who knew even that politician had some class.
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